Shia Peter Dorny

So Da just Floo'd me, and he said he got this sweet gig next weekend as a DJ in a club in London. He wonders if I can kindly escape my grading duties, of which I have been so timely with thus far, for an evening of listening to the most amazing beats anyone who shares my same blood can drop in a few hours with no magic whatsoever. Basically, all I'm asking for is not much work to grade this weekend. I haven't seen Da in a long time, even longer since I saw him spin at a club. I'm sure we're winding down for the winter hols anyway. Not much work then, aye Prof?

( Vee )

In other news, whoever turned my favorite chair into a billy goat is either rather talented or rather looking to get into a whole heap of trouble. Nice horns on it though by the way. We are not going to discuss, however, how it chased me down the hallway, down into the moving staircase and into the Herbology classroom, where it finally got distracted by some weeds. Sorry about those, by the way, I'll grow some new ones eventually. So! I hope we've all learned our lesson here. Chairs make awful billy goats. You'll all do well to remember that. And my bum is still sore.

I did NOT take the last roll. It was still there when I finished eating this morning. SO. Someone ELSE must have taken it. I will not be called Douchehead Dorny ever again, just because SOME PEOPLE think I take all the rolls on the table. I don't. I swear. In fact, I hardly even LIKE rolls. I prefer crackers. I don't know where people get off thinking I like rolls so much and why they keep suggesting that I take them. I am not a roll taker! Haha, get it? Roll taker? Like taking attendance? That I'll do in class for Mrs. BL on days when she wants to keep things on the DL. Hah! I kill myself.

Anyway. Back from the dead. I sent an owl to Da yesterday. He sent me one back with a photo of his new girlfriend. Hot stuff, Da! We're moving on up! .... I hope...... because really, the last girlfriend he had smelled an awful lot like ham and swiss on rye. No lie. This was quite worrisome. To the point where I would walk around behind her with a bottle of mayonnaise and a pickle jar. It just wasn't normal. No one should ever smell like such a tasty lunch item all the time like that. Come on! It was insanity to the max!

I also heard back from Luke. He's flying in this weekend to visit Aunt Gwennie and Da. I'm so fucking jealous of that bloke. He's got like what? His own personal 747 or something? FIVE OF THEM OR SOMETHING? GET OUTTA HERE! And he lives in like bloody Romania, where he found this bird who's suddenly all knocked up, twins I hear. He's got it all, my awesometastic cuz. I wanna be him when I grow up..... or well..... at some point in my life, I guess.

Romania...... here I come? Shia Dorny! And his...... chia pet...... woo hoo?

And don't none of you make fun of Sheila. She's a good chia pet CONFOUND IT!

( When did your heart go missing )